I want to apologize for disappearing again.
I want to, but I won’t.
That’s a lie. If you’ve been here for a while, you already know that I lie and swear more often than some, not as much as others. If you’re new here – Welcome to my circus (my circus, my monkeys). I lie and swear, and I apologize more often than I should. According to this article from psych central, “over-apologizing is motivated by trying to manage the other person’s emotions and make them feel better,” explains Hamsher. “Even if you weren’t the one to cause harm because you’re uncomfortable when other people aren’t happy.”
The article goes on to say that
Excessive apologizing could be tied to mental health conditions like:
- depression
- social anxiety
- generalized anxiety disorder (GAD)
- obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
- borderline personality disorder (BPD)
- post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
That’s me – a people-pleasing procrastinator and recovering perfectionist who struggles with depression, social anxiety and ADHD aka
I’ve talked before about my struggles with the black dog. I love dogs, but this one bites. He may not carry rabies, but his toxin kills creativity. I’ve spent the past two weeks binge-watching shows on Netflix and playing on my phone. On second thought, maybe I’m not depressed, I’m a teenager (it tracks – definitely dealing with hormone shifts and frustrations with the ‘rents).
The good news is that it’s been a long time since he showed up. So long, in fact, that when I realized I was spiraling my personalities started singing to me.
The song made me laugh, which stopped the downward spiral. That’s a lie (WTF? Two in one post? Someone needs a time out). It slowed the spiral. It’s still a little grey, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Fingers crossed it’s not from an oncoming train.
On this Mental Health Monday I wanted to remind you that if you’re struggling with mental health issues, you are not alone. Anxiety and depression will keep you isolated and tell you that nobody cares about you or your life. They lie more than I do.
Who cares if you’re hurting? I do, and so do the people who love you. Reach out when the skies turn grey. Asking for and accepting help does not make you weak. It’s one of the bravest things you can do.
Most importantly – if you or someone you love is having a mental health emergency, dial 988 or text HOME to 741741.
Twisting Suburbia 