Posted in days of the week, mental health monday

Numb Little Bug

numb
image courtesy of soundcloud

Good morning!

Yes, I am perfectly (well, practically) aware that “good morning” is an oxymoron for most of us. As per this article from mattresscarity.com only 48.7% of women and 39.7% described themselves as morning people. Well, look at me, using statistics again. Evidently I am learning to like them (why isn’t there a sarcasm font?).

But I digress. It’s Mental Health Monday, which means I should be providing tips and tricks for maintaining some sort of sanity. Unfortunately the block is winning, and I am struggling to find the right words.

supernatural-chuck

I have no doubt the issue is that I am trying to find the perfect words. Ugh – perfectionism is the worst. I still blame Mary Poppins.

Whatever. On this Mental Health Monday I find myself wondering – is anyone else obsessed with Em Beihold’s Numb Little Bug? Maybe it’s me, but the lyrics resonate:

I don’t feel a single thing
Have the pills done too much
Haven’t caught up with my friends in weeks
And now we’re outta touch
I’ve been driving in L.A.
And the world it feels too big
Like a floating ball that’s bound to break
Snap my psyche like a twig

And I just wanna see if you feel the same as me

Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you’re not really happy but you don’t wanna die
Like you’re hanging by a thread but you gotta survive
‘Cause you gotta survive
Like your body’s in the room but you’re not really there
Like you have empathy inside but you don’t really care
Like you’re fresh outta love but it’s been in the air
Am I past repair

A little bit tired of tryin’ to care when I don’t
A little bit tired of quick repairs to cope
A little bit tired of sinkin’
There’s water in my boat
I’m barely breathin’
Tryna stay afloat
So I got these quick repairs to cope
Guess I’m just broken and broke

The prescriptions on its way
With a name I can’t pronounce
And the dose I gotta take
Boy, I wish that I could count

‘Cause I just wanna see if this could make me happy

Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you’re not really happy but you don’t wanna die
Like you’re hanging by a thread but you gotta survive
‘Cause you gotta survive
Like your body’s in the room but you’re not really there
Like you have empathy inside but you don’t really care
Like you’re fresh outta love but it’s been in the air
Am I past repair

A little bit tired of tryin’ to care when I don’t
A little bit tired of quick repairs to cope
A little bit tired of sinking
There’s water in my boat
I’m barely breathin’
Tryna stay afloat
So I got these quick repairs to cope

Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you’re not really happy but you don’t wanna die
Like a numb little bug that’s gotta survive
That’s gotta survive

Songwriters: Andrew DeCaro / Emily Beihold / Nick Lopez

Numb Little Bug lyrics © Songtrust Ave

If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out for help. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or text “home” to 741741. Talk to a professional, talk to a friend, turn off the news and watch a cute puppy or kitten video. Do whatever it takes, because Em got that last lyric right – you gotta survive. 

And now I have Gloria Gaynor running through my head

So tell me – how do you fight the black dog?

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Author:

Fabulous Female searching for sanity while raising two children (a teenaged female and her father) in the Southern California suburbs.

2 thoughts on “Numb Little Bug

  1. Sounds like you and I and many many other people who will not admit to it have been through something like this. And, like the writer, I am now kind of relying on meds to get me through. I had a bout last night after receiving word that the permanent memorial plaque had been installed on Mom’s crypt. As a result I put off calling a friend who has just lost her mother, too, but has a significant other as well as an extended family that lives nearby to help get her through. I know she understands my reason for the delay in returning her call. Anyway, in response to your question, here’s how I handled one of those times recently.

    I need some birthday wishes!!

    Liked by 1 person

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