I know, I know, you’re disappointed in me. You think I lied when I said I was going to write on a regular basis. I didn’t. Not really. Lie, that is. I said that I would TRY to write on a regular basis. I’ve been trying. Extremely. Trying, that is (ask my teen).
Look, I don’t mean to be a disappointment – I can’t help myself. It’s just…well…I suppose it’s in my nature (ask anyone). I had every intention of writing on a consistent basis. I even tried to make it a more manageable task. I changed “write something every day” to “write 2-3x/week” and then revised it to “or once or twice a week” in an attempt to make my goal more realistic.
I know, I know, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. I realize that the proverb is supposed to be a warning against good intentions, but I’ve started to think of it as more of a roadmap. The road to hell is paved with good intentions? It’s ok – all my friends are there.
The good news is that Today is a New Day, and we can start whenever we choose. It sounds like sappy pap, but it’s true – why wait for January 1st (or even tomorrow morning) when you can begin again at any moment?
Trust me – you don’t want to wait. You never know what tomorrow might bring.
Facebook was kind enough to remind me that four years ago, we almost lost our daughter. Well, not lost, exactly (it’s not like we took off on vacation and left her home alone, or that she was taken by strangers). Four years ago she was hit by a perfect storm (of growth spurt, sleep deprivation, wheat sensitivity and drug interaction) that almost carried her away.
Three years ago, my husband was rear ended on the freeway by someone driving 70+. He was battered and bruised, but walked away from the crash (well, limped).
Two years ago, the same spouse developed multiple life-threatening pulmonary emboli.
Last year I lost my brother-of heart to undiagnosed P.E.
Two months ago, I lost a forever friend.
A month ago, my uncle passed.
I’m not sharing to elicit sympathy (but I won’t turn down a hug) – I wanted to confess, but the priest wouldn’t let me*. I have let grief, loss and stress stop me from writing. They built a writer’s block so long and tall that I was certain that I couldn’t jump over or walk around it. I believed that my only choice was to Wait For Things To Get Better.
I realize now that waiting is a mistake. Ferris was right – Life moves pretty fast.
Or it seems to, at least. I’ve been listening to Why Time Flies by Alan Burdick. In the company of scientists, he visits the most accurate clock in the world (which exists only on paper); discovers that “now” actually happened a split-second ago; finds a twenty-fifth hour in the day; lives in the Arctic to lose all sense of time; and, for one fleeting moment in a neuroscientist’s lab, even makes time go backward. It’s an interesting “read” on the nature of time. What I find most intriguing about the book is that the flow of time changes depending on the content. Time flies when I’m listening to the author’s personal anecdotes and slows to a snail’s pace as he shares information on the science of clocks. Or maybe it’s me. The NY times book review advises us that “physics teaches us that physical time happens to be astonishingly different from how we intuit it: runs at different speeds, at different altitudes; is distorted by matter; is not organized in a straightforward past, present and future.”
I think the Universe (aka FB memories) has been trying to remind me that life is short, that tempus fugit, and that none of us is guaranteed tomorrow. I need to Stop Waiting and Start Doing.
Forget New Year’s Resolutions. I’m choosing today to make a New Day’s Resolution. I’ll make this one easy on me.
Hi. My name is Tracey. Don’t fret – Today I resolved to write on a regular basis.P.S. For those of you who are thinking of emulating Ferris Bueller, by skipping school to catch a Cubs game keep an eye out for your principal.
*No matter what Earth Wind and Fire may claim.
**Evidently you’re supposed to be Catholic