Don’t you love Steven Wright? I wanted to shout “Yes it is!!” but shouting in my empty living room seems weird.
I mean, I know I’m weird (I’ve been told often enough). I blame the theater. Not the movie theater, although some theaters are pretty strange. Take Cinespia, for example. Cinespia is best know for screening movies at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. People bring blankets and chairs to watch a movie in the cemetery that marks the final resting place for Marion Davies, John Huston, Peter Lorre, Fay Wray, Carl “Alfalfa” Switzer, Harry Cohn, Bugsy Siegel, and the Black Dahlia.
I am talking about “the theater” – yes, it’s true – I am a damned thespian. At least I have a reason for being what my family called “so drama” (special shout-out to my mother for nicknaming me Sara Heartburn*). Fortunately I found my tribe long ago.
But I digress, yet again. It’s the third Wednesday of the month, which means it’s time for news of the weird.
The past month has been weird, and not just because the Depp-Heard drama refuses to die. A 9-foot boa constrictor visited a family in New York (is that weird, or just freaky?), an Idaho man had his brother-in-law catapult 59 marshmallows into his mouth, and Sandy Cheeks ran onto the field (and visited the bullpen) during a Cubs-Pirates game.
But the highlight (lowlight?) of the month has to be the story about the Charlie Bucket wannabes. As reported by Huffpost, two people fell into a partially filled chocolate tank while doing maintenance work at the Mars-Wrigley plant in Elizabethtown Pennsylvania. Emergency responders were able to free the pair by cutting a hole in the bottom of the tank.
That’s the official story anyway. I’m thinking that Willy Wonka has gone to the dark side and that chocolate-covered people are the new Soylent Green.
In closing, I want to leave you with this very important message from Graham Moore.
Stay safe, stay weird, and don’t forget – normal is just a setting on the washing machine.
*Sarah Heartburn was my mother’s twisted take on Sarah Bernhardt. In a strange twist of fate, I worked on a production of Divine Sarah when I was in my twenties.
So tell me – do you have anything weird you’d like to share?
Twisting Suburbia 