Posted in 2021, Weird Wednesdays

It’s “Meh”day*

meh

Actually, it’s not. Today is Wednesday. It is. Trust me. I know that the pandemic and lock down has messed with our minds and that time has become a big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff, but it’s Wednesday. I think. I mean, I thought yesterday was Wednesday, but (checking calendar) yes, today is Wednesday.

Wednesdays are usually dedicated to News of the Weird, but today is also my brother’s birthday. This may be confusing to those who know me, because I only have one brother, and he used to be younger than me (now that he’s 50 he gets to be the older sibling). I’m talking about my other brother.

Mario was not my brother by blood, but he was my brother of heart, and today would have been his 63rd birthday. I miss him more than ever and I’m just not in the mood for weird and wacky – which is funny (ironic?) because Mario worked really hard to make people laugh, no matter how much pain he was in.

Mario had health issues which made it difficult for him to stand or walk, but it didn’t stop him from doing..well, anything. He just didn’t let it stop him. Period. He still drove to and hiked in his happiest place on earth (Yosemite). He still went to hockey games and worked 60 hour weeks and stood up when people entered the room and rolled around on the ground with his furbaby.

I know that the past 14 months have been hard for everyone. I KNOW that we’re tired of being locked in – that we miss our friends and family and movies and plays and travel and school and restaurants and all the things that made up our “normal” lives. I also know that (for most of us, at least) we are very lucky. We can still call or zoom or skype or facetime with those we love. We can order food from our favorite restaurants and stream movies in our living room. We can hike (thanks to the lockdown, the girl and I discovered a whole slew of trails close to our home) or “sweat to the oldies.”

It is in our nature to mourn the things that are missing and moan about the things we lack. It takes a conscious effort to appreciate what we have – but if we are to survive this year with sanity (somewhat) intact, it’s what we need to do.

I used to laugh when I heard people talking about “gratitude journals” and “the power of gratitude.” I thought it was a hippy-dippy mindset, and that the uber rich celebrities pushing the practice couldn’t possibly know how hard my life was. Trust me when I say the past 10 years haven’t been a cakewalk (side not – have you ever been on a cakewalk? Weirdest game ever).

This is hard for me to admit, but I was wr…

I was wro….wrrrrrrr….

Huh. I thought I only had issues with the n-word. Guess I was wrrrr….(OMG let’s not start THAT again).

I was mistaken.

If we are to survive the quarantine with sanity (somewhat) intact, we need to shift our focus from what we CAN’T do to what we CAN. We need to stop wallowing in our worries and start wondering about what we could do to help our friends and neighbors. It’s weird, but research shows that “In helping others, you help yourself.” 

Huh. Wednesday turned out to be weird after all. 

One last tip to holding on to your sanity – remember that this too shall pass. It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Also, furbabies make everything better..

mario

*In my search for a “meh” photo, I found this incredible shirt. Someone needs to buy it for me. I would buy it, but I’m feeling “meh.” 

meh shirt

Posted in Weird Wednesdays

Weird Wednesday

news-of-the-weird

As I said before, I am tired of newsfeeds and headlines filled with bad, sad, doom and gloom (anyone else missing John Krasinsky’s Some Good News?). In an attempt to bring some light and levity to our lives, I am dedicating Wednesdays to

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

Is it me, or has this entire week has been weird? (Don’t answer that. I know I’m weird).

It appears that being in lockdown for 300+ days has finally gotten to me, and I have lost my grip on the space-time continuum. True story – I just tried to convince my supervisor that President’s day (February 15th) was LAST week. Now it’s possible that future me came back in time to cover today’s shift because today’s me went into the future to…what? Buy some shoes? Figure out which stock to buy or what sports team to bet on? Bringing back Gray’s Sports Almanac worked out so well for Marty McFly. 

GRAYS-SPORTS-ALMANAC-Back-To-The-Future-2-_1

It’s also possible that The Doctor is right. Time is a wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey THING.

Which is the longwinded way of saying that my “weird news of the week” is not from this week at all, but, just ICYMI – these stories of zoom meetings gone wrong made me LOL (is LOL still allowed? I know that the laughing/crying emoji has fallen out of favor). I have to admit that being “a woman of a certain age” means that new technology can be challenging – but I have never accidently turned myself into a cat or flipped myself upside down

My last humpday story may not be weird, but try to make the leap with me. NASA has sent yet another rover to Mars. Perseverance should land on the red planet Thursday. Touchdown in the Jezero Crater is scheduled for 12:30 PST. You can watch it here

It’s not exactly weird (ok, the fact that we’ve spent over 12.9 billion dollars on Mars-related projects is weird) but my question may be: 

Do you think they’ll find a new breed of cats?

weird news

So tell me – are Wednesdays weird for you too?

Posted in Weird Wednesdays

Today is Weird

humpday

Hello and welcome to your mid-week update from the anti-suburban suburbanite.

I realize that my musings have been infrequent at best, but (as I said before) I am trying to be a better blogger…or at least one who posts on a consistent basis. I have also decided to go back to the beginning, and focus this blog on parenthood, suburbia and anything and everything twisty.*

I am dedicating Wednesdays to News of the Weird. Weird and wild and wacky and all things W. We are here to celebrate all things weird and wonderful to and to remember that normal is just a setting on your washing machine.

jon stewart

I’m no Jon Stewart, but I have found one or two pieces that made me laugh out loud.

Are you in the market for a new house? Have you run out of ideas as to how to effectively impose a “no phones/electronics” rule? According to UPI, there’s a house in Vermont that might be perfect to you:

The house for sale at 43 Courthouse Drive in Guildhall, Vermont, has four bedrooms, two bathrooms, an updated kitchen and seven jail cells, complete with barred windows, toilets and cots. UPI reported that the property, listed for $149,111, used to serve as the Essex County jail, with the jailer’s quarters attached to the back of the house. Out of use since 1969, the cells are now covered in dust and, according to the listing, just aiting for a creative buyer to “bring…ideas on what this 28-foot-by-40-foot wing could be!

I’m not sure that locking a recalcitrant teen in a dusty jail cell is the best idea (unless you want CPS knocking on your door) but I’ve had moments where it would have proven useful – if only for a place for this tired mommy to take a time-out.

I came across this post from January Nelson a while ago (Time being the wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey thing that it is, “a while ago” could be anywhere from a month to more than a year ago):

I curated these funny stories from funny Tumblr stories. Get ready for a hurricane of LOL as you read all these funny short stories:

Now that’s what I call stupid: In my junior year of high school, this guy asked me on a date. He rented a Redbox movie and made a pizza. We were watching the movie and the oven beeped so the pizza was done. He looked me dead in the eye and said, “This is the worst part.” I then watched this boy open the oven and pull the pizza out with his bare hands, rack and all, screaming at the top of his lungs. We never had a second date.

I feel sorry for the boy. He reminds me of a former coworker – her name has been changed to protect the innocent. And “Clueless” was extremely innocent and/or overly sheltered (maybe both). She was in her twenties, living alone, with zero life skills. I have several stories I could share, but I’ve gone on long enough for one post. She called me for cooking help.

Clueless – “How do you open a can of soup?” (please note, this was in the days before pop-tops)

Me – ??? “A can of soup?”

Clueless – “Yes. Do I just punch holes in the top?”

Me – “Is it a can of bullion?”

Clueless – “No. Chicken and noodles.”

True story.

My daughter isn’t much of a cook (she takes after her mother that way) – but even she knows that the noodles would get stuck in the holes.

opener

So tell me – are your Wednesdays as weird as mine? 

*I am moving my battles with the Black Dog and Brain Weasels to another blog. If you’re interested, you can follow me here

Posted in #blogging101, Blogging U, Weird Wednesdays

Wednesdays are Weird

Finishing line Whoo hooo! I did it! It’s taken me more than a month but I finally finished Blogging University’s Learning the Fundamentals course! Evidently I am finally Becoming an Adult. Well, maybe not, but it looks like I’ve  finally Learned my Lesson – or one, at least. It appears that this procrastinator perfectionist has finally learned to finish what she’s started. So far I’m two for two (for those of you who missed the announcement I finally finished my 13 year WIP). If this continues, I just may finish putting away Christmas before summer vacation (don’t judge me).

I cheated, of course. I whipped through lessons 12, 13 and 14 today. It was either that, or quit for the third time. But the third time’s the charm! Made it to the last lesson – Day Fourteen: Create Your Own Feature. The powers that be instructed me to “think of the type of regular feature you can commit to – something you’ll publish weekly, biweekly, or monthly.”

I have to admit that I have a fear of commitment – it took me five years and threats from my fiancé before I agreed to walk down the aisle, and another ten years before I was willing to commit to raising a child…so today’s lesson is hard – or would be, if it weren’t Wednesday.

I know what you’re thinking. “What does Wednesday have to do with the price of tea in China?” Or maybe not – nobody says that any more. Wednesdays are the best brain day. I have completely recovered from all the activities of the previous weekend, and my brain has not yet run away to get an early start on the coming weekend. And Wednesdays start with a “W” which made it a short alliterative jump to  Weird Wacky Worldwide Stories of the Week aka Weird Wednesday.

 

BlogWednesday[1]

A  quick Google search for weird/wacky stories made me realize how popular they’ve become. I know we’re all tired of doom and gloom, but I was surprised to see just how many links I found. Reddit has a page dedicated to News of the Weird, as does NPR . There’s a Facebook group and it appears that even Fox news has jumped on the bandwagon (nobody says that any more either) with Weird News Wednesday.

fox
image courtesy of          fox13now.com/tag/weird-news-wednesday/

I skimmed through the various sites, looking for the perfect story to kick off this series. Then my daughter sent me a link to January Nelson’s post from September of last year.

The post included 50+ stories that she had “curated from funny Tumbler stories”  but it was the first one that had The Girl crying with laughter:

In my junior year of high school, this guy asked me on a date. he rented a Redox movie and made a pizza. We were watching the movie and the oven beeped so the pizza was done. He looked me dead in the eye and said, “This is the worst part.” I then watched this boy open the oven and pull the pizza out with his bare hands, rack and all, screaming at the top of his lungs. We never had a second date.

So okay, it may not be “news” , and I’m not sure it’s as weird as the story about the working usb drive that was found in frozen leopard seal poop, but it made me laugh (because I am an evil, evil person).

Poor boy. Burnt his hands AND lost the girl.

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