I haven’t blogged in a while, so I decided to revisit the Blogging U “Learning the Fundamentals” course. Today is Day one, and I’ve been instructed to publish a “who I am and why I’m here” post. Tell us about you and what we’ll find on your new blog.
The post stumped me. I mean, I don’t know who I am. I know I’m a liar, because I started off by saying I haven’t blogged in a while, when, as a matter of fact, I published a post yesterday…and I lied in that post too.
(I’d like to take a moment to give a special shout out to Kristen Ann James for her post on “how to post a gif to your blog post”
But I’m a liar who took several months off for a variety of reasons, and my writing is rusty (which explains why I had to edit yesterday’s posts multiple times). So here I am, ready to begin again, pretending today is Day 1.
So who am I? IDK. I mean, I know who I’ve been (daughter, wife, mother, coach, referee, actress, lighting designer, stage mother, comedian, writer, masseuse, biller) but I’m going through The Change, and I’m not really sure who or what I’m changing into (I hope it’s a unicorn!). Evidently I am a pupa, which is much better than being a puta.*
Which brings us to “Why are you here?”. I have to admit that I don’t know the answer to that question either. I tried asking Siri, but she didn’t answer (possibly because I don’t have an Iphone). Fortunately, Google was there for me. A Google search brings up “about 5,430,000,000 results” including an incredible page called manifest your potential and a self assessment quiz from Oprah.com . Evidently I’m a knowledgeable creative who should be careful of the fact that “when fear of conformity overrides your creativity, you can assume the role of “outsider” or “orphan” and end up feeling alienated. You may even go so far as refusing to vote or pay taxes. This lone-wolf stance might be a defense against feeling vulnerable. Try to be aware that blaming others for your banishment, or pushing away those who want to get close, only makes things worse. Also, dramatizing your emotions can interfere with your creativity” and “When you can’t find a way to be the expert, you may withdraw or simply withhold information, which can make you seem smug or arrogant.”
I’m so glad I took the quiz (Hey WordPress – why isn’t there a sarcasm font?). It was fun, but didn’t tell me why I’m here. It’s entirely possible that the answer may take more time and effort than a flip post will allow (guess it’s time for some navel-gazing).
It looks like I can’t answer either question from Day 1. I am a sad egg (which is completely different than being a bad egg).The EIC (Evil Inner Critic) just popped in to remind me that, since I don’t know who I am or why I’m here, I have failed my first task. Failing used to throw me into a tailspin of depression and self-doubt, but not this time. This is a new year, a new post and a new me, and the EIC can go F himself.
I’m not afraid of failure (well, I am, but I’m trying to convince myself that I’m not). After all, Truman Capote tells us that “Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.” and Samuel Beckett reminds us to “Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”Never mind who I am and why I’m here – I want to know who you are and why are YOU here? Or don’t you know? Let’s find out together.
* Not that I’m judging. People have to eat.