Posted in days of the week, Weird Wednesdays

I Hear Dead People

wacky wedHello, and welcome to the weirdest day of the week. I thought it was just me. As a former mother to a teen I was told on more than one occasion that I was “so weird.” She’s 22 now and still thinks I’m weird, but I can no longer hear her eyes roll when she says it (and not just because I’m starting to suffer from age-related hearing loss).

Evidently I’m not the only one who thinks that Wednesdays are weird.  Google returns 71,6000,000 results in .61 when you ask it. I would have asked Alexa, but I don’t have an Echo (capital E. I’m pretty sure I still have my echo). I’m already freaked out by the ads that pop up in my FB newsfeed without having to worry about her listening to my private conversations with myself. Yes, I talk to myself. Out loud. Weren’t you listening? I’m “so weird.”

I love “the google.” I know it’s wrong – and not just because loving a search engine is weird. I have a big birthday coming up and am starting to embrace my crazy cat lady personae. Well, that’s not true – I will never become a crazy cat lady, but only because I cats make me wheeze. I still want one two five (breathing’s optional, right?) but my friends and family won’t let me have any (meanies). I am, however, starting to embrace my senior self – I am starting to say “the google” and “the walmart” and I have died my hair a spectacular shade of magenta.

But I digress, again (damned ADHD squirrels). I love “the internets” because I have learned fascinating bits of trivia. Trivia that I am driven to share with strangers, whether or not they want to know. Yes, I talk to strangers, and, despite what my family may tell you, not only when I’ve had too much tequila. Thanks to The Fact Site I know that Wednesday is named for the German god Woden (I thought it was Odin’s day?), that the Japanese word of Wednesday (sui youbi) means “water day” (drink more water!) and that Quakers refer to it as the “fourth day” of the week to avoid pagan associations with Wednesday (I didn’t know Wednesday was pagan).

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Most importantly, I learned that “according to a survey, bosses are most receptive to requests from their employees on a Wednesday.” Excuse me while I go ask my boss for a long-overdue raise.

But wait! there’s more! (damned squirrels – I almost missed the point of today’s post. Yes, I have a point). Unlike Cole Sear, I cannot see dead people, but if Amazon has its way we may all be able to hear them.  ICYMI (it has been a busy week, after all) Amazon is developing a creepy new feature. As reported in the Washington Post (among others), during last Wednesday’s keynote speech in Las Vegas Rohit Prasad, senior vp and head scientist of Alexa AI, explained that in an attempt to “build greater trust with users” the feature would allow  the voice assistant to replicate people’s voices. In other words, I could have a recipe read to me by my dead mother.

It’s been 27 years and I miss her voice. I may need an Echo after all.

So what do you think – is the new feature cool or creepy?

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Posted in days of the week, life lessons, WFH Wednesdays

WTF*

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image courtesy of dictionary.com

Happy Hump Day everyone!

We are halfway through the week, and I don’t know about you, but I can’t Wait Til Friday.

Wait a minute.

What’s so special about Fridays? I mean, I know it’s the end of the workweek and all, but really, what makes Friday better than Wednesday? Is it truly a better day, or does it just have a better marketing team?

In my last post I tried to give Monday a spin. I learned that Mondays get a bad rap because they have no feet. I also learned that I am not a very good spin doctor – at least, not as good as these guys:

but I am going to try to work my way through all the days of the week.

I know what you’re thinking (I do! It’s because I’m psychic. Or is it psychotic? I get the two confused). You’re wondering why I would waste my time spinning the days of the week. I’m wondering the same thing.

TBH I don’t know why.

These are things that I DO know –

I know that I have let death, illness, stress, brain weasels and the black dog keep me from writing. I know that days weeks months of avoiding the blank page have turned it into the monster under my bed (literally – I have a whole slew of empty notebooks gathering dust under my bed). I know that the only way to chip away at a writer’s block is to write. And yet….

The words don’t come.

So here I am, rambling about the days of the week, chasing the ADHD squirrels and hoping that they’ll lead me over/around/through the block.

But (pay attention – I have a big but**)

My squirrels lead me straight to an epiphany (ok, not straight – they are ADHD squirrels, so we spent far too much time getting distracted by shiny things) –

We all look forward to Friday – we spend our week looking forward to the weekend and our weekend dreading Monday. When we’re at work we wish we were home and when we’re home (and faced with honey-dos) we wish we were somewhere else.

We are wishing our lives away. It needs to stop.

Life is short. Be here now.

The people at spiritbutton said it better

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*I know what you’re thinking (did you not read my post? I’m psychic!). You thought this was going to be a post about WTF moments. I don’t want to disappoint you, so here’s a link

**mostly thanks to WFH and stress eating

So tell me – what’s your favorite day of the week, and why?

Posted in Uncategorized

To Join or Not to Join – that is the question

2015-12-20 12.42.27[1]As I said yesterday, I am trying to be a better blogger and person. The second part is proving to be more difficult than the first, because the older I get the less I like people. Yes, I am becoming the angry old man yelling at kids to get off my lawn. Which is weird, since I’m not a man, and nobody plays on my lawn (probably because the landscaping is tippy and weird). I am, however, very tempted to start beating people with my big wooden spoon (FYI spoons are deadlier than you’d think).

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But I digress (again. thanks adult onset ADHD!) – I am trying to be a better blogger. I am trying to write on a consistent/predictable basis. The plan was to post on Tuesdays and Fridays. I am well aware that today is neither. Wait. It’s not, is it? As The Doctor says, Time is a big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey….stuff, and sometimes I get lost (especially now, in the 2975th day of our enforced staycation).

ANYWAY. Everything I’ve read/heard/seen says that it’s very important that writers join some sort of writing group. Weird, since writing is a solitary action, but okay. I joined a Facebook group. It was weird. No, really. I’ve been involved in blogging groups in the past, and this one is…”unique” (look! I found another word for “weird”).

There was a long list of rules at the top of the post. Normal things, like “be nice”, “no political posts”, “no spam or marketing”, “no running with scissors.” Then it got really strange (another synonym! I am on a roll*), and not just because I couldn’t figure out how they’d know if I was running with scissors. There was a long list of rules for the “share your latest post” thread, and they weren’t really clear. My understanding was that you were supposed to link directly to your post, but also how you were sharing it. You were supposed to tag the person whose post was above yours (because supposedly people were deleting their posts?). You were supposed to “like” the thread, but not until it closed, and then type “done” when you did it? Whaaaaaaat?

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image courtesy of guff.com

I received a message from the admin that I needed to “complete the thread or risk being removed.” I reached out to the admin with “this is my first time and I thought I was doing this correctly” but he/she/they didn’t bother with assistance, either by responding to my post or via a DM. I  read through the list of rules for a third time, corrected my mistake and moved on.

Well, I thought I’d fixed my mistake. I was tagged again this morning. The admin who couldn’t be bothered to help me had no trouble warning me that I needed  a to “complete the thread or risk being removed, the thread is now closed.”

Not to be repetitive, but….whaaaaaat?

It wasn’t until I left the group (and finished my second cup of coffee) that I realized my mistake. The admin wasn’t wondering where I share MY post (twitter, linked in, facebook, etc) they wanted members to show support for each other by sharing every post in the thread. Granted, there were only 34 posts, but….Whaaaaaaaat?

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image courtesy of foodieish.com
I am sure the group works for some people, but not for me. I am willing to read and like and comment on posts. I will share posts when they resonate, or if I think they will be of interests to my friends and followers. I am not going to share a post on what type of fish food underwater basketweavers use, but I bet it’s Velveeta cheese.

It’s nobody’s fault but my own, of course. Maybe my pre-quarantine brain would have understood the rules. I don’t have any way of knowing. That brain ran away screaming and has been replaced by version 2.0. Like many “upgrades” it’s a cheaper product with less memory and frequent “file not found” errors.

I belonged to a group many moons ago. Their rules included things like “be nice”, “no political posts” and “no running with scissors” (how do they know?). They also required that you comment on or share (“not just like”) the three posts above you in the thread. I’m pretty sure that even Brain 2.0 could understand those rules.

I miss that group almost as much as I miss my brain.

Almost.

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So tell me. Do you belong to a blogger’s group? Can I join? Do you think they’ll like me? Can I run with scissors?

*Thanks to my ADHD “synonym” and “roll” have me craving cinnamon rolls. Yumm.

 

 

 

 

Posted in 2020

How YOU Doing?

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It’s Day 3 of 2020 – how are those New Year’s Resolutions coming? I only set one…and I’ve already broken it. The fact that I broke my one resolution in the first week of the new year kept me up last night (or maybe it was all the coffee I drank, or my ever changing hormone levels). In any case, on this third day of the new year I am both sleep deprived and overly caffeinated – a combination which sends my ADHD into overdrive.

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Image courtesy of btechfilms.com
Then again, maybe it’s stress that’s keeping me awake. My husband is “in-between” jobs, and my brain keeps asking me “What if he never finds a job? Age discrimination may be illegal, but you have to be able to prove that’s why you didn’t get hired.”  I’ve tried taking a deep breath and responding with “We’ve been through this before, and things always work out” which is when my brain switches to “He’s lost a lot of weight – what if he has a tumor?”  My brain is an asshole.

And so I find myself wide awake at 3AM (almost) every night. My New Year’s resolution to be as kind to myself as I am to others should probably have included “get more rest” and “worry less” but, as I mentioned before, I have a hard enough time keeping ONE resolution, and I didn’t want to set myself up for failure by creating a never ending list of things I want to change about myself.

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With all the “New year, new me” posts out there (as well as the media push to brainwash us into believing that we’ll finally be happy if we are thinner/stronger/have a new car/different shoes/different clothes/remodel our houses/spendspendspend and BTW you don’t have enough in savings and will never be ever to retire) it’s no wonder that most of us have a list as long as the Jolly Green Giant’s arm.

 

Which is why I liked this 2018 “New year, same me” post by Kathleen of JustKISFI HATE the saying, “New Year, New You”. Really, I do. I despise it. And every year at this time, you see it EVERYWHERE! Why do you need a completely new you? Is EVERYTHING about the old you just wrong? Is there not ONE thing you like about yourself?? I doubt it. Sure, we aren’t perfect, and we have things we don’t particularly like about ourselves. Honestly, I’d be worried if there wasn’t something about yourself that you’d like to improve. But a whole new you? I don’t think so.

I’m going to make 2020 the year where I ignore what society/advertisers/the media tells me I should be, and just be my best self. I’d love it if you’d do the same. Let’s start a Be True To You revolution (meetings at 3AM nightly).

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Posted in Blogging U

Who Are You Again?

2015-12-20 12.42.27[1] Oh goody, I’ve made it to Blogging U’s Day Four – Identify Your Audience. This is going to be a tough one, because it’s Friday and multiple cups of coffee have kicked my ADHD into high gear (Oh look! Squirrel!)

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I have no doubt that The Powers That Be thought they were being helpful when they suggested that I brainstorm the kind of person you hope will read your blog. What do you want to say to them?

What do I want to say? OMG There’s a storm in my brain! No wonder I have a headache!  Thunder! Lightning! Rain and hail! Hail, hail, the gangs all here (told you my ADHD was in high gear – the hamsters are RACING on their wheel).

Seriously – I’ve done this before, is it cheating if I just repost?

Sigh. FINE.

Who is my ideal audience? (ok brainstorm, work your magic)

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Gee, I don’t know. What kind of readers would I like? I mean, I’m not picky. Not really. I know there are people who prefer to surround themselves with like-minded individuals, but I’m not one of them. My family of heart includes writers and actors, stay at home moms (and dads) and CEOs, hippies and button-downed professionals, parents with two legged children and four, mischief makers and rule followers, liberals and conservatives and everything in between.

To be perfectly honest, my ideal audience member would be my mother. She’s been gone for 24 years now, so, unless they have internet access in the Great Beyond, she won’t be reading any of these posts.

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Mostly I want people who “get” me (don’t we all?). People who understand sarcasm, love movies and books and music and mood swings. Errr. strike that last bit. Pretty sure nobody loves a mood swing. Wikipedia says A moodswing is an extreme or rapid change in mood. Such moodswings can play a positive part in promoting problem solving and in producing flexible forward planning. However, when moodswings are so strong that they are disruptive, they may be the main part of a bipolar disorder. Of course, Wikipedia also choose to use the drama masks when talking about mood swings and bipolar disorder. Wikipedia can suck it.

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I want to talk to people whose minds are open, but not so far that their brains have fallen out. People who drink and swear, and those who don’t (you’ve been warned – I use a lot of four letter words). People who are willing to listen to me babble, to toast my successes, grieve my losses, and are willing to lift me up when the black dog comes for a visit. Friends who want to ride with me on this crazy rollercoaster we call life. Family of blood and heart.

Who is my ideal audience? You are.

So, who are you?

 

 

 

Posted in the daily post

Atten-SHUN!!

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courtesy of paradisekittymodeling.BlogSpot.com
For some reason, I thought today’s prompt was “attention” (evidently I wasn’t paying attention, or perhaps today’s post just didn’t hold my interest).  I’m too broke to pay attention. I’m not sure how it happened. I used to be able to pay attention (I have a foggy memory of being a good student). Did I spend it when I was younger? Did I waste too much time paying attention to useless and trival details/watching reality tv and listening to idle gossip?

 

I could blame Starbucks – I can barely stop vibrating enough to focus on my driving, let alone my daily tasks! According to caffeineinformer.com, Starbucks has some of the highest caffeine amounts of any coffee chain (who here is brave enough to try Deathwish coffee?)

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image courtesy of thrilllist.com
I could blame video games, if I played them. Yes, I know, video games DON’T CAUSE ADD and can actually be used to treat it, but I believe that the constant barrage of images/action makes everything else dull in comparison.

I could blame Michael Bay – the quick edits he picked up directing music videos have had a huge impact on modern movie making. A negative one, IMHO.

Or I could blame menopause  and its raging hormones. I didn’t have ADD as a child, but (as my brother will testify) I’ve developed it as a

It really doesn’t matter who I blame or why I can’t pay attention – the only thing that matters that I’m not alone. We are a nation whose attention span has been reduced to 140 characters and 30 second sound bites. We have lost the ability to focus for extended periods of time as well as the patience to wait for a pot of coffee to brew (and thus, the popularity of single serve coffeemakers such as Keurig).

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I came across a great post by The Redhead Riter. She came up with a great list of reasons why we don’t pay attention:

  • Too comfortable in our surroundings and take it for granted.
  • Overconfident in our abilities.
  • Thinking too much about the big picture.
  • Fear that we will not get it all done.
  • Filling our lives with too many activities.
  • Not living in the moment.
  • Having too much clutter around us.
  • Believing that true multitasking is a reality. (Can you eat a sandwich, whistle and chew gum at the same time? No, you can’t.)
  • Not having a place for everything to reside when not in use.
  • Not putting back things into their proper place after use.
  • Boredom.
  • There’s not a lot of emotion tied in with the experience.
  • Being too tired.
  • We are not at optimal health.
  • Believing that looking and seeing are the same thing.

Again, it doesn’t matter WHY we don’t pay attention. I think we need to stop making excuses for our inattention, slow down, and focus on life as it happens. Not only because, as Mehdi Ordikhani Seyedler tells us, fantastic things happen in our brain when we do, but because we can develop the “Sherlock Holmes” intuition by paying minute attention to detail….and who doesn’t want to be Sherlock Holmes?

Besides, as Ferris Bueller said, Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

OMG! I almost forgot – which are you, Team Benedict or Team Robert-Downey Jr?