Posted in days of the week, motivational mondays

#TGIM

mondaymotivation

Happy Monday!

I know, I know, it seems like the world’s greatest oxymoron. Who the #!? is happy about Mondays?

TBH I’m not a fan, but as I said before,  I feel sorry for it. Put yourself in its shoes….Wait – does Monday even have shoes? or feet? (Ugh, the ADHD is strong today). How would you feel if you knew that everybody hated you? Is it any wonder that Mondays are so…well, Monday-ey?

I think the problem with Monday is bad PR.

That’s a lie (if you’re new here, I lie – a lot. Well, not a lot…mmmm..or maybe I do)

The main problem with Monday is that we’ve spent 2-3 days playing, and Monday marks a return to the real world – and it’s not even MTV’s Real World. BTW I hate the Real World more than Mondays.* The show, that is, although reality leaves a lot to be desired.  Returning to the real world is stressful. According to this AZCentral article, scientists say the stress of going back to work means our blood pressure is higher on Mondays, which explains why they are the most common day for people to have heart attacks and strokes (side note – the cdc site lists early symptoms of strokes or heart attacks – being aware can save a life).

And Monday can be an asshat – just ask Garfield:

garfield hates mondays
Image courtesy of Jim Davis

But maybe Monday is just taking a preemptive strike? Maybe, just maybe, if we start being being excited for Mondays they won’t be quite as rough? As I was looking for images for today’s post I came across a 2021 post by beautifulmindsinspireothers. Ronda reminds us to be gentle with ourselves because “there are enough people waiting to knock us down or criticize us without us leading the charge.” challenges us to “start your week with a better Monday Mindset and live the week being intentional about of beating yourself up over everything that doesn’t go wonderfully.”

She also shared a great acronym for Monday:

Make today count

be Open to new opportunities

Notice the good in others

Dream out loud

Acknowledge your effort (and remember that)

You make a huge difference

So TGIM everybody! Grab Monday by the balls and make it a great week! (Wait does Monday even have balls? No? No wonder its so mean!)

Sigh. The acronym is nice and all, but I still side with the Boomtown Rats

*Not only did The Real World interrupt my viewing of music videos, it was the very first reality tv show. Yes, you can blame The Real World for Keeping Up With The Kardashians and all the Real Housewives shows….

Posted in days of the week, motivational mondays

TGIM

image courtesy of blossom counseling and wellness, llc

Happy Monday!

You read that right – I said happy Monday. It’s weird, I know – who likes Mondays? Nobody, that’s who. 

Read that again. Nobody likes Mondays (well, maybe someone does, but it’s nobody I know).

I don’t think that Monday is a bad day, she’s just responding to all the hate that comes her way. I mean, really – how would you feel if you knew that everyone hated you? Bitter and bitchy? Pissy? Filled with justifiable anger? No wonder Mondays suck – we should just be grateful that they don’t suck more.

I’m trying to blog on a more consistent basis, but today the words didn’t want to come. How do you find words to write when your brain is

a. emptied by stress

b. full of useless trivia

c. old

d. tired

e. wired on caffeine

f. all of the above

g. none of the above

h. a, b and d through e, but not f&g……

I couldn’t find the words, so I googled “Monday motivation” and came up with 523 million results. One of my favorites came from Certainly Her:

Dear Monday,

Thanks for having the word “mon” in you. That’s French for “mine”, in case you weren’t aware, Monday, but it makes me think of  your more as “my day”, and frankly that sounds like a much more promising start to the week.

If I hate my day, then (as per the transitive law of mathematics) I hate myself, which is why I’m changing my attitude about Mondays. You should too. 

Maybe, just maybe, if we start LIKING Mondays, they won’t suck. 

Fingers crossed. 

 

Posted in four letter words, life lessons, motivational mondays

On “No” and the Power of Ants, part Duh!

thCA2PFOLH

A few months years ago, I blogged about the power of ants, and the danger of C-word.

I’m a bad/non-practicing Jew, but I have friends and family members who are Orthodox/Torah-observant who pray to G-d. Although there isn’t anything in Jewish law against writing out the word, they believe his name is holy/has power, and choose to treat the English version with the same level of respect as the Hebrew equivalents.

I feel the same way about the c-word. C*nt isn’t holy, but the word has power – and I refuse to use it any longer.

What? No, not THAT c-word – I mean, that word is (extremely) offensive, but it wasn’t the c-word I was referring to….

Oops. Color my face red.

embarrassed-emoji-1640463

I missed an apostrophe. I’m talking about c*n’t, not c*nt. Let me be clear – the c-word I’m referring to is cann*t.

Sorry for the confusion – let’s just agree to call it “c” to avoid further embarrassment. Lower case, to avoid having it confused with “the big C” (I don’t want to use THAT c-word either. Nobody does, which is why people always whisper when they say it). What’s so bad about “c” you ask? As I said in my original post, it’s the filthiest four-letter word I know, which is saying a lot (in case you’re new to my blog, I swear all the time). “‘c’ is a dream killer and soul crusher. It’s the EIC (Evil Inner Critic) run rampant – the voice in your head telling you that you’re too old, too busy, too female, too sleep deprived to take a chance and try something new. The voice that makes you question yourself before you even know that you want to try. The voice that sounds like you, whispering the dreaded “what if” in your ear. “What if I fail? What if people laugh? What if I hurt myself?” The EIC is a liar, and he/she will use the n-word and the c-word and anything with not in it to prevent you from achieving your goals.”

I know what you’re thinking – haven’t we talked about this already? Why am I rehashing an old post? Don’t I have anything new to say?

Wait. That’s not you – that’s the EIC. Evidently he didn’t like being called a liar. He’s been quiet for a long time (probably because I haven’t been writing), but he’s back in a big way. I’m letting him have his say, because letting someone speak until they “run out of steam” is just one of the techniques I’ve learned in my mandatory “effective communication” class. He’s the one in red.

I have to admit, he has a point. I have talked about this before.

Repeatedly.

Yes, thank you EIC, I’ve talked about this repeatedly – because it’s important.

To you.

Yes, to me. It’s important to me – but it’s important to other people too (at least I hope it is). I want to know/understand what stops you (not you personally, although I would be interested, if you’d like to share). I want to understand what stops people from pursuing their dreams.

In my pursuit of answers, I started listening to the Hay House You Can Heal Your Life Summit 2022. Full disclosure – I’ve tried listening to their podcasts before. “Tried” being the key word. I am a Full blown Cynic, so I have a hard time believing that the millionaires are offering their programs for free (and many times, they ARE simply plugging their products). I also find it unlikely that any of these one-percenters could relate to the struggles we’re going through.

BUT (yes, it’s a big but)

I was listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer’s episode today. He was talking about his Excuses Begone! paradigm. Some of what he said (ok, a lot most of what he said) is very “new-agey” (as are most of the Hay House episodes). I disagreed with some of this viewpoints, or at least they way he verbalized them. He believed we are all 100% responsible for our trauma – that it’s not the trauma, but our reaction to it and that if “other people didn’t respond to fighting with fear” it’s our fault that we did. I believe that we are not responsible for the traumatic events in our past (blaming the victim is not helpful) but we ARE 100% responsible for our healing. I’m working on mine.

but (smaller but)

He also said that we need to change the way we talk to ourselves (are you listening EIC?). He said that when we talk about something (losing weight, ending addiction, finding/ending a relationship) being “hard” we are MAKING it hard. Not to be too “woo-woo”, but basically G-d/the universe/our higher power always says “yes” – so when you say it will be hard, it becomes so. Dr. Dyer instructs us to change our thinking habits – that when we hear ourselves say “I c*n’t”, we flip it. “I c*n’t afford it” becomes “The money will come” and (in my case) “Finding a traditional publisher is difficult” becomes “The right publisher will love my book”. He reminds us that words have power, and tells of to be mindful of the messages we hold on to. The stories we tell ourselves shape our lives.

Or, to quote my younger self, “The next time the EIC whispers “you can’t”, tell him that there’s an ant in “can’t”, and ants can do amazing things, including lifting ten times their body weight.”

Then get out there and chase those dreams, because they won’t chase you back.

Tell me – what negative message do you need to let go of?

Posted in motivational mondays

Love, Me*

motivational-monday
image courtesy of blog.terrificwords.com

It’s Motivational Monday. To be perfectly honest, I’m not feeling very motivated. But as I said earlier, I am trying to be a better blogger, so I am learning to write even when I don’t feel up to the challenge (yay me! Um…yeah. Even that small attempt at a boost failed to make me feel any less Meh.)

I could blame the environment (literal, political, social – take your pick) or the fact that this time of year SUCKS ASS (too many heavenly birthdays and deathaversaries) but it doesn’t really matter. To be honest (albeit not perfectly) it’s entirely possible that I’m just a Bitch (I’m sure my housemates would vote for the last one. After 14 months of quarantine, we’re all shopping for white oleander).

The why is not important. What matters is that I’m writing even though I don’t want to – because it’s Monday, and it’s the first day of a new month, which means it’s a good time to begin again quick reminder – you can choose to begin again at any moment – now is as good a time as any). I also got a nudge from Love Yourself Infinitely:

How To Move Forward In Life » Love Yourself Infinitely

“Life is not a bed of roses. We all learn this truth one day, in one form or the other. There are times when we feel alone, face setbacks, and end up feeling stuck in one place. This fear of failure or disappointment leaves one stagnant. Sometimes it is lack of motivation, positivity, or mere courage that holds us back from getting up and moving forward in life.”

I’ve been watching the replay of “Becoming Unstoppable: a 1-Day Live Confidence-Building Virtual Event” lead by Jamie Kern Lima. She created the event to celebrate the release of her book Believe It. The book tells her story of overcoming doubt, fear and haters (“No one is going to buy makeup from someone who has your body”). Her story is amazing, as were the guests who showed up during her event. So much love and support from so many incredible people. You should check out her video, book and website

I was going to share some of the advice from the event, but my husband has been binging Fringe for the umpteenth time (seems random, but stay with me, I have a point).. If you haven’t seen it, you should check out the first season at the very least (writing, cast and story are superb). I love Walter, and on Friday he said something that resonate. Something I want to leave you with. 

“I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. You have no idea how extraordinary you are. If you embrace that, there is no end to what you can do” – Walter Bishop, The Last Sam Weiss (S3 Ep21)

*Quick note – grammar is important “Love, me” is completely different than my original title “Love me?”

And here’s a little Walter Bishop for your entertainment

Posted in mental health, motivational mondays

Labels are for Food and Clothing

label

Happy Monday! How was your weekend? I had every intention of Getting Things Done, but the Universe had other plans. Of course, the EIC insists that I am making excuses, and I am just lazy. The EIC is an asshole, and he is constantly barraging me with a slew of negative labels. Lazy. Stupid. Bad. The good news is that I am getting better at ignoring him. We shouldn’t believe labels, but if we’re going to use them, we should pick the ones that are empowering and uplifting. Confused? Let me explain. Ugh. Now I have The Princess Bride running through my head.

Back BM (Before Motherhood) I was an actress. When I first started out, I had horrible stage fright. HORRIBLE, as in “I’m pretty sure I’m going to pass out or throw up on stage.” Fortunately, I had an incredible acting coach, and he gave me some important advice: Nervous and Excited feel exactly the same – the only difference is the way you label it. 

Sounds simple, right? It’s simple and effective. When I stopped labeling my butterflies and sweaty palms as nervous/afraid and started seeing it as “excited” I had a huge breakthrough. Changing the label changed my mindset, and I was able to use the energy to fuel my performance. 

Let me be clear – labels are useful for clothing and food (especially when you’re gluten sensitive, like the girl) – but other than that, they’re at best useless. AT BEST. But if we’re going to label ourselves, we need to choose carefully.

In a “There is no such thing as a coincidence” I came across a live event featuring Mel Robbins (thank you Facebook). In case you hadn’t heard of her (I hadn’t) she wrote The Five Second Rule, and she has a YouTube channel. She spent most of her time discussing about the negative narrative that runs through our head and the fact that we need to stop treating ourselves badly. 

I’ve spent too many years listening to the endless loop of negative voices telling me what I’m not. The good news is that it’s a new year and a new week which means it’s a good time to begin again. Then again, you can make a fresh start at any moment.

I won’t say “Have a great week” because that’s a lot of pressure for those of us who are people pleasers – instead I’ll say “Have a week.” Stay safe, and please be as kind to yourself as you are to your friends.

kind

 

 

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