Posted in 2020, all about me

Happy Fall Y’all

image courtesy of momdot.com

Happy Fall! FYI that’s Fall as in brisk mornings and changing leaves, spooky decorations and bonfires (unless you live in California), hot chocolate and pumpkin spiced EVERYTHING, not “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” You’re probably too young to remember that particular commercial (lucky you).

After two months of 70 hour workweeks my side gig is finally coming to an end. I have tons of free time, which should mean that I have time to clean, write, catch up on Lucifer and This is Us or just Get Things Done.

Instead I’ve taken up a new hobby, and I’ve been spending far too much time drawing (my husband has nicknamed me Simon).

But as Suziespeaks pointed out, it’s the final quarter of the year, and the hell that is 2020 is finally coming to an end. It’s entirely possible that the new year will bring a fresh level of hell (how many levels did Dante say there were?), but I intend on starting 2021 with a clean slate – and a clean house.

Weekend #1 didn’t go entirely as planned. I was going to prep the livingroom for a new coat of paint, but decided to take a daycation at the beach instead. The water was finally warm(ish) and The Girl and I were able to swim and boogie board and search for shells while The Man watched the Sooners get trounced.

Sunday The Girl worked as a PA on a friend’s movie and we watched football with socially distant strangers. I was sad. Not because The Girl was working on a movie and I wasn’t (that’s a lie. I really miss being on set) but because the Chicago Bears forgot how to play football. I’m not sure what they were doing on the field, but I wouldn’t call it football (yeah, yeah, I know – the Colt’s D is #1 in the league. IDC)….and don’t get me started on the Lakers. I mean hellooooo – Jimmy Butler is just one guy. The five of you can’t stop one guy? (fingers crossed that tonight goes a little better).

Sorry. This post wasn’t supposed to be all about sports, but OMG couldn’t just ONE of my teams have won? It’s probably my fault that they lost – the universe wanted me to paint.

My point (yes, I have one) is that I want to spend the last quarter of the year Getting My Shit Together.

If you haven’t done it by midlife – why start now?

Oh goody, it’s the EIC. How I’ve missed you – not.

(EIC sulks away)

Wow. What a pouty hormonal B (the EIC, not me – although it applies to me as well…and the Girl. Sometimes I feel sorry for my husband – but he can be a pouty hormonal B sometimes too.)

ANYWAY. When I first got sent home (way back in March. April sometime this year) I thought “oh, I can use the time I save not commuting to tackle the garage and give the house a coat of paint” (I’m not sure how much tackling and painting I thought I’d get done with my extra hour/day, but that’s not the point) – and here we are, half a year later, and I still need to tackle and paint (which has nothing to do with bait and tackle, but coffee has kicked my ADHD into overdrive).

So I am trying to get organized – going through closets and drawers and tossing anything that doesn’t “spark joy” – all I have left are a pair of sweats, my supersoft robe, a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates.

I’m also going through files on my computer (not that I have any personal files on my computer, because we’ve been warned about that)…and I came across a document from eons ago – back when I first started blogging and was trying to “find my niche.” I knew that I couldn’t be Erma Bombeck (sigh. If only…) but I wanted to help new mothers survive the wilds of suburbia and parenthood with sanity (mostly) intact.

I was having a hard time coming up with a name for my blog, and although I love “Twisting Suburbia – Tales From the Skewed Side” my first tagline was a little darker:

Twisting Suburbia – Putting the F-U in fun, and the FUN in dysfunctional.

I have to admit I’m a little sad that I didn’t use this one:

Because I’m a B*tch – confessions from a mediocre aunt and a horrible mother

The document also includes a list of games for exhausted mothers/fathers/siblings/babysitters. The following games should give you 5-15 minutes of “free” time. Time to go to the bathroom, or take a catnap or cry softly while adding some Irish to your coffee:

  • Hide and DON’T seek
  •  The quiet game
  •  Statues (note – never touch/unfreeze the frozen player)
  •  Post-apocalyptic planet: everybody’s dead. Dead people don’t move. (Please note – this game may be hijacked by older children playing post-apocalyptic zombie apocalypse, but never fear – you can outrun a zombie, unless it’s one of those zombies from World War Z)

Full disclosure – I played hide and don’t seek with my brother. After about 5 minutes he would come looking for me.

“Why aren’t you looking for me?”

“You’re such a good hider – go hide again.”

He would play for at least 15 minutes, and I know of at least once that he fell asleep while waiting for me to find him.

I tried playing Hide and Don’t Seek with my daughter – when I told her to “go hide again” she rolled her eyes and walked away.

So, tell me  – what’cha doing with the rest of the year? How do you plan to “start fresh” in 2021? I’d love to hear from you (and not just because reading comments is better than painting the livingroom).

And for those of you who missed it, here’s the Life Call commercial that everyone mocks:

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Posted in 2020, life lessons

To Be or Not To Be….

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Don’t panic – even though Life is a four letter word and I empathize with Hamlet’s rant on the pain and unfairness of life (really and truly, 2020 has been nothing but a clusterfuck of mammoth proportions) I’m not ready to shuffle off my mortal coil – I’m grabbing a bag of popcorn and settling in to watch the rest of the circus.

For those not familiar with it (no judgment, but why aren’t you?) the soliloquy appears in Act 3, Scene 1 of Shakespeare’s Hamlet….What? You’re not familiar with the play? Oh em gee – why not? It has everything – fratricide, romance, suicide, ghosts, murder, swordplay – it even has an acting troupe!

Confession time – Hamlet was my introduction to Shakespeare – and while the rest of the class moaned and groaned, I sped through it and spent the rest of the semester working through the First Folio. Twelfth Night is definitely my favorite play, but Hamlet will always have a special place in my heart (you never forget your first). I know everyone raves about Laurence Olivier’s Hamlet, but I have to admit to being impressed with a pre-batshit Mel Gibson in the role, and You MUST see Benedict Cumberbatch (yes I am a Cumberbitch, why do you ask)..or there’s Tennant, or Simm or Scott…..

Where was I? Ah, The Soliloquy. Hamlet has a lot of monologues (seriously, the guy talks to himself ALL THE TIME, but so do I), but this is one of the most well-known. Time’s compilation of Shakespeare’s 15 most beloved quotes puts “To be or not to be” at the top of their list.

I would sum up our (his) story so far, but you need to read/see it for yourself. Let’s just say that the Prince of Denmark is having a shitty year (sound familiar? Seriously though – has anyone tried rebooting 2020?). He starts Act III by contemplating death and suicide. He wonders if death is nothing more than a never-ending sleep, and worries about “what dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil.” He eventually decides that most people will choose “to be” because we are cowards or “dread of something after death.”

But I digress (damn you adult-onset ADHD!). As I said at the start of the post, I am not having a Hamlet moment. I am having a “what do I want to be when I grow up?” moment. First and foremost – who thought that being a grown up was a great idea? I mean, REALLY. I don’t know about you, but I am definitely more Peter Pan than Hamlet.

I’ve reached mid-life without deciding what I wanted to be. That’s a lie. I knew what I wanted to be, but then I changed my mind. I’ve been a lighting designer, an actress, a comedian, a massage therapist, a Medx tech, a waitress, a receptionist, a medical biller/collector/coder, a wife, a mother, a referee, a coach…..and now I’m teaching myself to be an artist (thank you Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain).

I’m more than halfway through life and I still don’t know what I want to be (maybe this quiz will help) – but as nasty as 2020 has been, I think we should take a moment and listen to Ralph Waldo Emerson.

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So tell me – what do you want to be when you grow up?

Posted in 2020, life lessons

On Hooch and Humanity

I’ve been crazy busy lately. If you know me at all, you know that this is not an unusual state of being (and not just the “crazy” part). I tend to volunteer for everything and help whenever I’m asked because help and hope are hard to find and I still haven’t learned to use the other n-word. Not that one. The one that means “opposite of yes.”

But I promised that I would try to post on a regular basis, so I am sneaking in 15 minutes before I’m off to my other other job (not a typo. as a wife mother woman we have at least 20 jobs).

I spent this morning scrolling through my FaceBook feed (as the EIC so kindly reminded me, “time that could have been spent writing or cleaning or getting your lazy Covid19 body into some sort of shape”). Yes FB is a timesuck, but it also keeps me connected to friends and family members who are scattered across the globe – and it reminds me of memories that have fallen out of my head (thanks oldtimers syndrome!).

This morning’s feed included a post about Hooch. Lower case H. Not hooch the alcohol. And not, in this particular case, Hooch of Turner and Hooch (one of my guilty pleasures).

For those of you who haven’t heard of him (and even those who have), Hooch is a French Mastiff who was rescued by Zach Skow of Marley’s Mutts Dog Rescue (great group doing great work. You should support them). Zach found Hooch at a shelter in California. The staff said that the dog refused to eat or drink, and that he “would just toss his bowls around the room.” Zach suspected that the pup had a broken jaw, but when the veterinary staff examined Hooch they discovered something much more horrifying – someone had severed his tongue entirely (possibly to use him as a bait dog). The poor dog had been desperately trying to eat and drink, but he wasn’t physically capable.

I know what you’re thinking (I do, because I’m psychic. Or psychotic. I can’t remember which). You’re wondering why I would share this horrifying story on my blog. Good question. Hang in there – things are looking up.

As per a 2016 Country Living story “Hooch figured out that he could tilt his head back while his owner puts food at the back of his throat.” They also taught him who to eat with the help of a Bailey Chair.

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“So he can eat, big deal.” Well, it’s a big deal to Hooch, but that’s not the point. The article goes on to say that “Hooch wasn’t about to let a terrible past get in his way…He now spends his time as a therapy dog, working with autistic, abused, and special-needs kids. ‘Hooch has never met a person he doesn’t like,’ Skow told the Today show. ‘Tis dog is resilience personified…It’s very humbling to see him living life on life’s terms and being triumphant.'”

And THAT’S my point. This year is a hot mess, the news is nothing but doom and gloom and conflicting stories about COVID19 and protests and people screaming at each other.

I also know that that everyone is dealing with something. EVERYONE has issues/struggles – even those whose lives look perfect from the outside (they’re just better at hiding them).

But we need to learn to live like Hooch – to leave our pasts behind us, and to believe that people are good.

Well. most people, at least.

And, oh yeah, Hooch won the 2016 American Humane Association’s Hero Dog award because he’s “an ordinary pup that does extraordinary things.”

IMHO Zach Skow is a hero too. You can read his story here.

Hang in there everyone – the night is always darker before the dawn, and the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t always an oncoming train – and don’t forget, hope is not a four letter word (I mean, it literally is, but..well, you know what I mean – don’t you?)

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I really wish I’d read this article before I killed my family.

WAIT!! Before you freak out and dial 911 and start frantically searching the web in a desperate attempt to find my address – I didn’t REALLY kill them. I may be crazy, but I’m not going to post my confession to my blog. I just imagined holding a pillow over my husband’s face and wondered if the shrub in my backyard was Oleander (fun fact – you can be poisoned by eating honey made by bees that pollinate the plant).

Doctor Gordon has some great tips on how to stay sane during your enforced staycation. I found several helpful posts on psyfact’s site, including this video on kids, anxiety and Covid-19.

 

Social psychological research tells us how to stay sane when shut in together. By Amie M. Gordon, Ph.D. (From Psychology Today Website) A few days into everyone in her family staying at home, my sister requested a blog post on, “How not to kill your family during lock down.” So here it is. Stop fantasizing […]

via How Not to Kill Your Family During a Lockdown — * PsyFact – Mental Health Service *

How Not to Kill Your Family During a Lockdown – reblog

Posted in 2020

Quarantine Status – (mostly) Sane

I realize that I said I would try posting on Tuesdays and Fridays and that today is not Friday – but it’s Saturday morning, and Saturday is Friday adjacent….so I’m close.

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I don’t really have an excuse for not writing yesterday – I just couldn’t. That’s a lie – I could, I just didn’t have time. That’s not true either. Yes, I have been busy with online training for a new job, but I had plenty of time to scroll through Facebook, so I had time to write. I ran out of cope and I just didn’t want to.  I didn’t want to write, I didn’t want to work, I didn’t want to exercise, I didn’t want to do anything except stay in my blanket fort with wine and chocolate.

We are all struggling to sane in the midst of all the craziness that is 2020. As if it’s not enough that we’re all dealing with the global pandemic that is Covid-19 (or is it? people are getting into fist fights as to whether it’s just a hoax created by the deep state and the necessity of mask wearing) a patient in Inner Mongolia just died from the bubonic plague. People are split over the BLM movement (yes, all lives matter, but until everyone is treated equally, we need to stand in solidarity with those who have been targeted). Protestors are being beaten, tear gassed and kidnapped, and people are deeply divided over whether or not we should defund the police (personally, I think “defund the police” should be replaced with “reimagine/reorganize the police”). Over 33 million people have lost their jobs due to the pandemic, baboons with knives and chainsaws are running amok and murder hornets are…well, being murdery. Anyone else feel like someone’s trying to appease the Ancient Ones?

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Which is my longwinded way of saying that the world is burning and flooding and exploding and brawling and it all became too much and yesterday I was just DONE. I know that I’m not alone. I have seen multiple posts on Reddit and other social media asking if anyone else spends all day crying.

Spending the day crying is rough enough (hard to see when your eyes are swollen shut), but I’m not sad, I’m angry. Little things piss me off, and last night I found myself wondering if my husband’s CPAP mask would make it difficult to smother him with a pillow. No, he didn’t do anything wrong – his only crime was sleeping while I was ANGRY He also fell asleep while I was in labor, so I felt my anger was justified. Was that reason enough to smother him? I don’t think so. Evidently Anger has taken over my brain.

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Well, that’s not true either. I spend my day alternating between screaming and sobbing – evidently Sorrow is battling with Anger for control of my brain.

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I know that I’m not alone, but sometimes knowing something intellectually isn’t enough.  I am blessed – members of my family of heart are always willing to listen, and my daughter and spouse love me even when I’m crazy.  Not everyone is as lucky. For those who don’t have a support group, the number of sites offering crisis support has increased. The Pandemic Crisis Services Response Coalition is offering free support from top US mental health providers.

The CDC website has links to everything from the eldercare locator to the national suicide prevention lifeline. The site also has tips on how to deal with the stress of the pandemic:

  • Take breaks from watching, reading, or listening to news stories (with the exception of  John Krisinski’s Some Good News)
  • Meditate
  • Try to eat healthy, well-balanced meals (cake has eggs, milk and wheat – that’s healthy, right?)
  • Get plenty of sleep (between stress and menopause, this suggestion made me LOL)
  • Avoid excessive alcohol use (how much is excessive?)

The site also includes links to everything from the eldercare locator to the national suicide prevention lifeline. They recommend call

If you or someone you love is having a mental health emergency, dial 911 or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. You can also text (8388255) or chat online with a crisis counselor. 

You can also reach out to me. I’m not a mental health professional, but I’m willing to listen. Stay safe, be kind, be careful out there.

 

Posted in 2020

It’s Friday

calendar-day-friday-picture-id171144943_0[1]It’s Friday, and I promised that I would start posting on Tuesdays and Fridays. I always usually try to keep my promises, which is why I’m here.

I don’t want to be here.

I want to be at my brother’s house.

Well, not right now.

I wanted to be at my brother’s house this afternoon, but I was working (I soooooo need a time-turner/TARDIS/DeLorean).

I wanted to be at my brother’s house this afternoon, because I wanted to be there to say good-bye to my niece. To give her a lap snuggle, a belly scritch and a treat.

Not my real niece. She doesn’t let me scritch her belly, she’s too tall to sit in my lap and she’s not a huge fan of dog jerky.

My four-legged furbaby niece.

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She crossed the Rainbow Bridge today.  She’s not my dog, but she was my niece. My sweet, funny, furry, little wigglebutt of a baby girl.

The vet found a tumor in January, and gave her “at most a month.”

She gave us 6 more months of love, laughter, licks and belly sritches.

My heart is with my brother, my sister-in-law, my nephews and two legged niece. I am sad, but they are devastated.

2020 can kiss my ass.

Safe crossings Noel. We’ll see you on the other side.

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image courtesy of the compassionate gardener
 

 

 

Posted in 2020, Uncategorized

Cheese And Whine (aka I don’t wanna)

cry-baby-whiny-short-sleeve-baby-bodysuit[1]It’s been another rollercoaster week. Spouse got a job (yay!) but he’s only working as a “floater” until a position opens up (boo). Daughter found a low mileage reasonably priced “new to her” car (yay!) the day after we towed our car to the shop (boo!). I usually love rollercoasters, but this rollercoaster known as Life is definitely a four letter word.

I’m well aware that my “problems” are relative, and I’m thankful that my relatives aren’t problems  – everyone is healthy, everyone is safe (knock wood). It’s just…ugh. I’m pissy and hormonal and tired of working from home and tired of being stuck in a smallish house with two other adults and tired of this stupid pandemic and tired of hatred and racism and sexism and all the other isms and I’m just TIRED. I’m tired an whiny and the last thing I want to do is sit at my computer and write, but here I am because it’s been a week and if I don’t write today than I don’t know when I will and I can’t let stress and depression build a block and the brain weasels are racing and the EIC is laughing at me and…..

And yeah. I need some cheese to go with my whine.

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image courtesy of canstarblue

I have been using Suzie Speak’s July gratitude challenge as a writing prompt. Today should have been Day 5: Who are you most grateful for? But I’m pissy and hormonal and tired of working from home and…well, you know the rest. I’m in the middle of a pity party and can’t think of anyone or anything I’m grateful for.

But I still wanted to write something. No, I needed to write something. But the need to create doesn’t change the fact that I really don’t feel like writing a blog post.

And in another one of those “there are no such things as coincidences” moments, Christian Mihai’s post dropped into my WordPress Reader. I’m pretty sure he was talking directly to me when he asked “Don’t Fell Like Writing a Blog Post? Me Neither.”

He lists a dozen things he does when he doesn’t feel like writing. They include changing where he writes and reading a bunch of blog posts. One of my favorites is #9. I (Try to) Take a Nap because “whenever I place my head on my pillow, ideas start to pop up out of nowhere. It just happens.” It’s so true – I come up with the most amazing stories I the middle of the night when I’m halfway between dreaming and waking – but do I write them down? Nooooo. I’m always certain that I’ll remember them in the morning – and I never do.

I also like #7. I use Anger to My Advantage. Christian says “When in doubt, I write about the things that anger me…I write about the frustration, the pain, the failures” and says that “Strong emotions will make the process of writing a blog post effortless.”

I’m pretty sure that being whiny is not the same as being angry (although I have to admit that whiny people make me angry) but it did stimulate a post.

And whining venting has helped put my week into perspective. We’re all tired. Tired of the pandemic. Tired of the hate. We’re all dealing with the ups and downs, twists and turns of rollercoaster lives. We’re all struggling to make some sense out of the insanity of the past six months. I think I figured it out. Well I didn’t, but someone did.

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image courtesy of shutupandtakemymoney.com

Please. Please stop playing.

So tell me, what’s your favorite whine wine?

 

 

 

 

Posted in 2020

Ch-ch-changes

change-simon-wordle-24[1]If you’re having a strong sense of deja vu, don’t panic – it’s not a glitch in the Matrix – I’m well aware that I’ve used this blog title before.

It’s only fair that I’m reusing a title, since my life is  mirroring where I was a year and a half ago. Much like before, my writing has been derailed by “stress, grief, loss, depression and change.” I don’t know why I let the five horsemen of the Apocalypse  keep me from writing – the past four five eight years have been such a rollercoaster I should be used be used to them by now.

Speaking of the Apocalypse…..

ooooo. smooth transition – not.

Oh goody, it’s the EIC*. You’ve been so quiet I thought you were dead.

You’ve been so quiet I thought I’d finally killed your creativity.

Oh shut up.

Good comeback

No really, shut the f-k up. Begone you piddly poor excuse for an inner demon. You have no power over me now. 

Wanna bet?

Sure. Bet me. You’ll lose. I have come to terms with the fact that I am my own worst critic, and I have made up my mind that I’m not going to let myself stop me.

(EIC laughing evilly).

Look, I know that I haven’t written in weeks – but time during the pandemic has become more wibbly-wobbly than normal, and I’m not the only one who has been shut down by Quarantine Brain.

Oh goody. Another excuse.

It’s not an excuse. (squirming) I mean, it IS an excuse, but it’s an actual thing. Constance Grady wrote a great piece for Vox on what trying to write during a pandemic feels like:

My mind felt as thought it had been shattered. I couldn’t sustain a thought long enough to analyze anything. I just stared in a blank fury at the Rosanne Cash tweet reminding me that Shakespeare wrote King Lear during quarantine. “What a stupid thing to say,” I thought. “we’re already dealing with a global emergency and now I’m supposed to write King Lear on top of that? Well, fuck you.”

And the team at Patreon blogged about the struggle to create:

Creativity is a mysterious phenomenon. While there are people who claim they’ve hacked it, for most of us, access to creative flow can be fleeting and random. Sometimes, an idea appears out of nowhere, fully baked, leaving you sprinting to your laptop or notebook to capture it like a firefly in a jar. Other times, you torture yourself at your desk for an hour trying to make something only to leave empty handed…..As far as creativity goes, there are pros and cons that come with this new normal. On one hand, you may have more time on your hands to create; on the other, whether you’re having trouble focusing or you’re feeling frozen by anxiety, being at home can be challenging.

Their post includes tips on how to get creative during a global pandemic. They suggest learning something new, dancing (the girl and I zoom dance with our Borderline family every week) and lucid dreaming. My favorite is

9. Make it raw, not perfect. Aim for imperfection. People crave realness right now. Decide to make something, set a timer, and then make it. The songwriter Johnny Mercer once said, “write for the waste basket.” That mindset removes your expectations, leaving you free to be creative. Don’t stop when it gets hard, and don’t worry about how it’s going to land. When the timer is up, consider what you made. You can share it with your fans if you want. You never know what thing you make is going to be cherished by people. Or, if you made something that was just for you, that’s okay too.

(sprinkling myself with holy water) Now for the last time, get the f-k out. Go bother someone who actually gives a damn.

Back to the Apocalypse. Anyone else disappointed that there aren’t any zombies? I thought I saw some during the first week of the pandemic panic, but they turned out to be shell-shocked shoppers searching desperately for toilet paper. Shopper zombies may not eat your brains, but they will steal your toilet paper.

 

This started out as a piece on change. I wanted to talk about the things that have changed in the past eighteen months (I’m not losing my job after all) and the things that haven’t (like millions of others who were laid off during the pandemic, my husband is once again looking for work) and the panic that I felt when I learned that the WordPress editor is changing. I wanted to write a piece on how life will change as we “return to normal” (note – normal is just a setting on your dryer). Somewhere along the line, I went off topic, but that’s ok. The quarantine has kicked my ADHD into overdrive, but I’m not going to let it keep me from SQUIRREL!

There have been a ton of changes during the past few months. Some of the changes have been good – thanks to zoom I’ve seen my friends and family more in the past few weeks than I have in the past year. Some of the changes have been weird – I tried using a bandana as a mask, but I felt like an Old West bank robber. And some of the changes have been hard – I love my family, but we’re just not meant to be together 24/7.

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I’ve adapted, but I’m still not a big fan of change. Yes, I’m well aware that Heraclitus said “Change is the only constant in life.” and that Leonard Sweet thinks that “Stagnation is death. If you don’t change, you die.” I wouldn’t say that they’re wrong (they are/were, after all, smarter than I could ever hope to be) but I agree with Grumpy cat.

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But I think Scott Adams put it best:

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And for those of you (like myself) who have had Bowie running through their brain since seeing the title of my post, you’re welcome.

*Evil Inner Critic

So tell me – how are you maintaining your sanity while quarantining?

Posted in 2020

Staycation 2020

 

Hey, it’s me, the not-very-consistent blogger. Stress and grief and pain and loss have eaten my brain yet again, but I thought that writing might help relieve some of the stress. It was either this or jogging, and I am TDO (too damned old) to take up running…unless there’s a zombie apocalypse. I’m definitely out of practice, but it’s a start……

March 67th, 2020

My captivity continues. We’ve gone through our earthquake supplies and have moved on to stale twinkies and dog kibble (which is weird, since we don’t have a dog). The bar is empty, but I’m managing to stay sane by drinking all the teeny bottles of stocking stuffer alcohol from Christmases past (thank you Santa Claus!). I’ve managed to restock our dwindling supply of toilet paper by sneaking into the stores at 6am with the shoppers from Leisure Village. Thanks to a lack of sleep and hair dye my deception goes unnoticed…. I’d like to think it’s because I’m ACTING like an old lady, but the image in the mirror tells me differently (my reflection is a Bitch).

I’m into my sixth week of my staycation working from home. I’m torn. The commute is shorter, the new dress code is very casual (yes, I have worn fuzzy slippers to work), and my “coffee creamer” has changed, but my new officemates are annoying. They insist on having lunch with me and they never go home.

In all seriousness (and despite the fact that the three of us are together 24/7 for the first time in…well, EVER) we are FINE*. The first few weeks were a little rough, but at week 6 we’re learning to share. The “distance learning” girl and I are sharing the home office dining room table  and the hubbie and I are sharing cooking duties. Don’t look shocked – I CAN cook, I just don’t want to.

Working from home has been…interesting. We (my office team, not the royal “we”) hit a few bumps the first week (or three). Our first team meeting was a disaster – not everyone had mics, people who had them couldn’t figure out how to mute/unmute themselves, and some of the staff tried using non-existent video cameras. We are now pros at the conference calls and Skype messaging. We (the royal we, that is) managed to bring home things we didn’t need (without a printer, who needs a stapler?) and leave vital items (important phone numbers) in the office. By week 3, we had everything we needed.

Well, almost everything we needed. We really needed A/C last weekend (it was 82 degrees in our house). I thought about starting a fundraiser on gofundme, but seeing that 30 million people have filed for unemployment, having a hot house seemed a little “white people problems” to me.

So, we hit the just-opened beach for a mini vacay from our staycation. Stop rolling your eyes (I can hear you from here). We went to a “secret” beach, and I warned the girl that we might not be able to boogie board (beaches were supposed to be open for walking/hiking only), and that if it got crowded, we’d have to leave. The beach was deserted (I have a sneaky suspicion that Marina beach wasn’t actually open). I saw a few people hanging out who obviously didn’t live together (including what appeared to be a soccer/track team doing beach training), but most of the people maintained double or triple the required 6’ of “social distance.” The girl Boogie-boarded, and I people and puppy watched. The day was beautiful, and the sound of the waves put me O-U-T. I am incredibly grateful for good sunblock and a large beach umbrella. Lobster red doesn’t look good on me.

Lack of A/C notwithstanding, I can’t complain. Well, I CAN, but what’s whine without cheese? (or is that wine without cheese? English is confusing). My family and friends are healthy (knock wood), I still have a job and I have a roof over my head and food on the table (cake is food, right?). Some days are better than others, but we are surviving the Apocalypse with sanity (mostly) intact and plenty of TP.

Speaking of the Apocalypse, I have to admit to being incredibly disappointed. I was told there would be zombies. I think I saw some shocked, sleep deprived stumbling shopper zombies the first week or two, but they didn’t seem to be shopping for brains, so shooting them seemed wrong somehow, even if they did take all the toilet paper.

Speaking of TP, I should have listened to Chuck.

*FINE F-d up Insecure Neurotic and Emotional

So tell me – how’s your staycation going?

Posted in 2020

How YOU Doing?

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It’s Day 3 of 2020 – how are those New Year’s Resolutions coming? I only set one…and I’ve already broken it. The fact that I broke my one resolution in the first week of the new year kept me up last night (or maybe it was all the coffee I drank, or my ever changing hormone levels). In any case, on this third day of the new year I am both sleep deprived and overly caffeinated – a combination which sends my ADHD into overdrive.

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Image courtesy of btechfilms.com
Then again, maybe it’s stress that’s keeping me awake. My husband is “in-between” jobs, and my brain keeps asking me “What if he never finds a job? Age discrimination may be illegal, but you have to be able to prove that’s why you didn’t get hired.”  I’ve tried taking a deep breath and responding with “We’ve been through this before, and things always work out” which is when my brain switches to “He’s lost a lot of weight – what if he has a tumor?”  My brain is an asshole.

And so I find myself wide awake at 3AM (almost) every night. My New Year’s resolution to be as kind to myself as I am to others should probably have included “get more rest” and “worry less” but, as I mentioned before, I have a hard enough time keeping ONE resolution, and I didn’t want to set myself up for failure by creating a never ending list of things I want to change about myself.

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With all the “New year, new me” posts out there (as well as the media push to brainwash us into believing that we’ll finally be happy if we are thinner/stronger/have a new car/different shoes/different clothes/remodel our houses/spendspendspend and BTW you don’t have enough in savings and will never be ever to retire) it’s no wonder that most of us have a list as long as the Jolly Green Giant’s arm.

 

Which is why I liked this 2018 “New year, same me” post by Kathleen of JustKISFI HATE the saying, “New Year, New You”. Really, I do. I despise it. And every year at this time, you see it EVERYWHERE! Why do you need a completely new you? Is EVERYTHING about the old you just wrong? Is there not ONE thing you like about yourself?? I doubt it. Sure, we aren’t perfect, and we have things we don’t particularly like about ourselves. Honestly, I’d be worried if there wasn’t something about yourself that you’d like to improve. But a whole new you? I don’t think so.

I’m going to make 2020 the year where I ignore what society/advertisers/the media tells me I should be, and just be my best self. I’d love it if you’d do the same. Let’s start a Be True To You revolution (meetings at 3AM nightly).

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