Posted in mental health

Rabbit Rabbit

rabbitrabbit

May was Mental Health Awareness Month.

I missed it.

Not literally. I mean, even with time being a big ball of wibbly wobbly time-y-wimey stuff that races, stops, slows and stretches depending on your point of view (and what you’re doing) it would be pretty hard to miss an entire month. I’ve spent days holed up in my blanket fort, but 31 of them? Not likely.

Not that I’d mind missing the month – or at least the last two weeks of it. Mother’s Day is in May. So is my mother’s birthday. I miss her. It’s been 27 years, but I still pick up the phone. The irony is that I gave my mother sh** for grieving her father with “It’s been eight years – you should be over it by now.” Yes, I was an asshole. Yes, I can hear her saying the same. She’s an asshole too.

So I didn’t miss the month, but I did miss the opportunity to add my voice to the growing number of people pushing for greater awareness of and reduced stigma for the number of people battling mental health issues. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) estimates that 1 in 5 people have some sort of mental illness or disorder.

I am one of the five. I suffer from high-functioning anxiety, PTSD and adult onset of  ADHD (not that ADHD is a mental illness, although it does make me crazy). I  have battle the black dog on a fairly consistent basis. Some days I win. Some days I crawl into my blanket fort and watch tiktok videos. I wanted to spend the month sharing my story(ies) and offering hope and helpful tips. I missed it.

I could say that I was busy, or that (thanks to stress, deaths and ever-worsening headlines) my writer’s block is the size of Manhattan, but that’s just an excuse.

I  mean, I was busy – busy playing. I should have been doing all the things that Need Doing (my honey-do list is huge), but I didn’t want to. I won tickets to two different music festivals, went camping with my 22 year old and discovered that I am not a snake. Or a lizard. Or any other desert creature. So much for my dreams of attending Burning Man (unless they move it to the beach).

And my writer’s block is huge. Maybe not the size of Manhattan, but close. I am trying to chip away at it, but haven’t had much success.

That’s a lie.

The “trying to chip away at it” part, not the writer’s block. Unless, of course, “trying to chip away at it” includes scrolling through social media, making tiktok videos and reading books by authors who strengthen my imposter syndrome. I just finished the House in the Cerulean Sea. TJ Klune is my new favorite obsession.

house

But everyone is busy, and most writers get blocked, so my excuses are just that – excuses. Some are better than others (really and truly, who knew that homes were so needy?), but none of them are helpful.

That’s another lie. Some excuses are helpful. I mean, we can’t just say “Aunt May, you’re a big ol’ B and I’d rather roast over hot coals than spend a day with you.” Not that I have an Aunt May, but if I did, I would need an excuse for missing her birthday.

But I di-Greg.*

I may have missed May, but today is the first day of a new month, which makes it a good day to start fresh.** I want June to be a good month, which is why I started my day with RabbitRabbit. Not that I’m superstitious. That would be crazy (like me). I know we’re not supposed to say that, but it’s ok – I am learning to embrace my crazy. It’s what makes me ME.

Happy Humpday everyone!

Or, as my fave tiktoker says:

Find your joy.

*I love Greg Kata. You will too (trust me)

**Quick reminder – you don’t need to wait until the first day of the week/month/year to start something new. You can start fresh at any moment

Author:

Fabulous Female searching for sanity while raising two children (a teenaged female and her father) in the Southern California suburbs.

2 thoughts on “Rabbit Rabbit

  1. Thank you for taking a moment out of your busy, busy life to read and comment on my post – and thank you for the link! Our EIC really is a d-bag. I’ve found that talking out loud to mine keeps them quiet (it does mean I get some strange looks from people in the store, however).

    Liked by 1 person

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