I Am Not aMused

th5HHDH7O9There’s a voice in my head. For once, it’s not the voice of the EIC, nor any of his BFFs (Doubt, Fear, and Insecurity). It’s a new voice, one that is meant to be helpful, but is proving to be just as annoying as the Fearsome Foursome. I’m pretty sure she’s my muse, but she must be new to this, because she’s not being helpful at all. Don’t get me wrong – I’m sure she means well. Maybe it’s me. I always assumed a muse would spark ideas. Mine seems to be poking at me instead.

She started last Tuesday.

“You should write.”

“I can’t right now – I need to visit my friend in the hospital.”

That stopped her for a couple of days.

“You should write.”

“I can’t right now – I’m busy celebrating the girl’s birthday.”

She was quiet for 3 days (I think the birthday celebration wore her out too).

“You should write.”

“I will – I need to drop the girl off, then I’m going to come home and clean, and after that, I’ll write, I promise.” I had the best of intentions, but instead of cleaning and writing, I came home, closed my eyes “for a minute” and woke up several hours later.

Evidently she took pity on me (or maybe she was pouting) because she took three days off. She’s back today, but instead of gently suggesting that I write, she’s been chanting.

“Write! Write! Write!”

“O.M.G. Can’t you see I’m busy?”

“Doing what? Write! Write! WRITE!

“I’m WORKING!”

“You should be writing instead. WRITE! WRITE! WRITEWRITEWRITE!

I’m not sure how muses are supposed to work, but I’m pretty sure they’re supposed to do more than just nag. Do you have to get kissed by a muse to light the spark of creativity? I kissed a girl, but it was a long time ago*, and she didn’t look anything like Olivia Newton John.

In my limited research on the muses, I learned that Clio is the muse of history and writing

clio-1[1]

At first glance, Clio seems to fit, especially when you take into consideration the fact that I considered changing my name to Cleopatra when I married Marc Anthony (Yes, really. No, not that one). I would have changed my name, but didn’t want to make an asp out of myself (bwah hahahaha).

She’s a little too serious looking for me

Thalia is the muse of comedy and poetry. She’s more relaxed than Clio.

thalia-1[1]

She looks like a lot of fun, but I’m not very good at poetry, and the days of baring my boobs are behind me (not even for really, really nice beads). There’s also the fact that, when it comes to comedy, some people just don’t “get” me.

Then I came across Kuriositas’ post on The Modern Muses – and found a new pic of Thalia

thalia[1]

What’s this? A muse for stand-up comedians? Why didn’t anyone tell me? I would have kissed HER in a heartbeat 🙂

*It was an on-stage kiss, way BM (Before Motherhood)

So tell me – who’s your muse? How does she talk to you? Does she whisper? Does she nag? Does she give you full fledged stories or glimmers of ideas?

nine-muses-mantegna[1]

 

 

 

 

 

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